


christmas farmhouse

by mrsfallonridley



Category: Dynasty (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:27:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28365390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsfallonridley/pseuds/mrsfallonridley
Summary: Humans, not places make memories. That was what Liam always told himself about the Lowden's upstate New York farmhouse. He didn't think he needed to go back to the place where he had some of the best memories of his childhood to remember them. That was, until Fallon suggested they spent the entire month of December there with their kids and all the memories came flooding back to him stronger than ever.Christmas Farmhouse tells the story of John Lowden's legacy and how he lives on through those who loved him.
Relationships: Fallon Carrington & Liam Ridley, Fallon Carrington/Liam Ridley, Laura Van Kirk & John Lowden, Laura Van Kirk/John Lowden
Comments: 30
Kudos: 21





	1. the lion king

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I have been itching to write some Laura & John Lowden, and because I love to write in parallel timelines (I know, annoying af), here is some Falliam too. This is mostly me fangirling over John Lowden. Bare with me. The chapters can be read separately but they do have a correlation, and for a better experience, it is recommended they are read in order. Hope you enjoy it!  
> PS. A big thanks to Sabine for the cute idea! This is all her fault, and all complaints should be addressed to her.  
> PSS. In case you are curious, here is my [ The Lowdens Pinterest collection.](https://pin.it/3MPJ4n8)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fallon, Liam, Eleanor and Jack watch The Lion King and Eleanor and Liam end up having a deep conversation about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There is a lot of talk about death.

It felt weirdly like home again. A home Liam didn’t even realize that he missed this much.

It had been over a decade since the last time he had spent Christmas there and he never thought he would ever again, but now as he looked around the white living room, he was glad Fallon had suggested doing something different that year. First, he thought she meant travelling somewhere. An opportunity to experience an extravagant foreign Christmas, away from their traditional Carrington-filled Atlanta one. So, he was understandably taken aback when Fallon suggested they took the entire month of December off to spend it at the Lowden’s New York farmhouse instead.

She had been a little surprised herself when she discovered the existence of the elegant white-front house in the middle of the New York forest. Fallon always thought Liam had grown up in the big city, and although that was true, it was an incomplete reality.

The first time Liam had mentioned growing up in a farm to Fallon was while they were horseback riding in their own property, almost 2 years into their marriage. How could he have never told her something that important before? It simply had not come up, he told her. The truth was, Fallon had always been impressed by his talent for the horses. After all he was just a city boy, or so she thought. Now everything made more sense, in addition to growing up in New York’s elite society, Liam also doubled as a farm boy on the weekends.

“Daddy… Are you awake?” Eleanor whispered, gently twisting her body to be able to look up at her father from where she was lying on his chest. The sound of her tiny voice was just what he needed to stop relishing in his childhood memories and bring him back to his current reality.

“I am, yes…” Liam looked down, meeting her eyes before placing a kiss on her forehead. He could see she was tired. She was so tired, but he knew she would do whatever it took to fight off sleep so she could watch the final moments of one of her favorite movies. “Do you want to go to bed?” he asked, just before a big yawn escaped her mouth.

“No.” she said firmly, almost offended that her father would suggest something like that. “I just wanted to know if you were still watching.” Oh, she was so her mother’s daughter, stern sleepy frowns and everything.

“I am, baby. I’m watching.” He assured her before the little girl turned her attention back to the movie that she knew by heart on the big screen.

“It’s time for the fight!” she exclaimed, shooting up to sit on her father’s legs in an unexpected spurt of energy fueled by her excitement.

“Shh…” Liam shushed her, poking her legs to get her attention before pointing to Fallon and Jack, cuddled up against each other on the couch next to them, both of them profoundly asleep.

“Oops.” Ellie said, taking both her hands to cover her mouth before looking back at her dad playfully.

“Mommy and Jack just couldn’t hang, huh?” he smiled at his daughter as she took her hands off her face to reveal her mischievous smile.

“Daddy…” Eleanor started, after noticing Liam’s glimmering eyes as he looked at Fallon and Jack, his tender look of adoration, reminding her of something she had been meaning to ask her father.

“Yes, baby?”

“Why were you crying this morning?” Liam knew exactly what she meant. He had not seen her there. He wasn’t sure if Fallon had either. Damn, the kid really could be quiet when she wanted. Then, he remembered why they always have to lock their bedroom door at night now.

“Dad was just feeling a little nostalgic.” Liam told her, remembering that morning’s events, when he walked into his father’s office for the first time in over a decade, and for the first time since they moved in for the month a few days prior. “You know what that means?” he asked, not sure if she even understood what he had just said.

“No…” she admitted, her concerned frown accentuating itself as she watched her father’s expressions carefully while waiting for an explanation.

“It’s sort of when you remember happy things from your past and… you just miss it extra hard for a bit. Daddy was just a little emotional about his past this morning.” He explained, his heart racing slightly just like it had done that morning when he walked into his father’s office while holding Fallon’s hand, and his eyes travelled straight to the desk where he had last seen his father. The image and sound of their last meeting, still as strong in his memory as if it had only happened some hours ago.

“What do you miss?” Eleanor asked, cupping Liam’s cheeks the best she could with her tiny hands.

“I miss being your age and spending my weekends here playing…” Liam started, not being too hard to put on a smile as he took in all of Eleanor’s atypical gentleness. “Just like you and Jack have been doing for the past few days…”

“You can play with us!” she said readily, her little heart tightening at the thought of her father feeling excluded from their epic fun. “We will let you play!”

“I know, baby…” he smiled, pulling her body closer to him and into a hug. “And I will. I love to play with you…” he said, placing a kiss on her cheek before Eleanor corrected her posture, sitting back up on her father's legs again.

“So, you were crying because you wanted to play?” Eleanor wasn't convinced. Her father was never shy about inserting himself into their games and plays. Nor would mom be consoling him about something so simple to solve, Eleanor thought.

“Yeah… And because I miss my dad a lot.” He confessed in all honesty, already sensing that Ellie was in an inquisitive mood and that he would probably end up regretting being so open with her. “We had a lot of fun memories here growing up.”

“Grandpa John?” They had been talking about him more than usual. It was important to Liam to tell their kids about their grandpa and Ellie was just getting to an age where she actually understood why she had never met him.

“Yeah, Grandpa John…” Liam couldn’t help but smile every time before he actually said the word ‘Grandpa’ before his father’s name, especially when talking to his own child. One he never thought he would have. “You know… He would have loved to meet you.” He said, pulling a strand of her messy blonde hair off her face and tucking it behind her ear. “I think you would have loved him too. You remind me of him.”

“I wish I could meet him now.”

“I wish you could too, but you can always look at the sky and talk to him.” Grandpa John is a little star in the night sky. That’s what Liam had told them every time they asked where he was, simply because that had been all he had been able to come up with. “He would think you are the most perfect little girl in the entire world…” he told her. At least that’s what Liam thought anyways. “I’m sure that he is watching over us and he thinks just that...”

“Like Simba’s father?” Ellie asked, glancing back at the very last minutes of the movie still playing behind her on the television.

“Exactly, Ellie. Exactly like Simba’s father.” Liam couldn’t believe how perfect the example actually was. He totally intended to take advantage of it to explain the whole death thing to the kids from now on. “Just like Simba’s father, Grandpa John is up in the sky watching over us, yes. Always.” Liam felt like he had never truly reflected on the meaning behind The Lion King until that moment.

It had taken Ellie’s question for him to realize how perfect, and age-appropriate, the movie was to help him explain to the kids their messy family dynamics: anything ranging from succession lines and leadership duties to _shady_ relatives and betrayal. “Remember what Mufasa told Simba? The people we truly love never really leave us.”

“How did grandpa die?” He knew it was coming. He could see she was itching to ask him that. He knew it would happen someday, but he was not about to talk about what had happened with his 5-year-old. There was no way.

“We will have to save that story for another day.” he settled for that, hoping she would let it go.

“Why?” Of course, she wouldn’t. It didn’t even surprise him. All the stubbornness in the world couldn’t rival with Ellie’s constant whys. Yet, another thing that she _certainly_ had to have inherited from her mother.

“I’ll tell you one day, okay? Daddy just cannot get into that right now.” He tried to reason with her, but again, it was very hard to convince her, so he tried something else. “I promise…” he said, bringing forward his pinky to seal the deal.

“Okay, daddy…” She finally gave in, wrapping her tiny pinky around his and trusting that he would eventually tell her. Daddy always kept his promises. “But… I don’t want you to die.” She added, along with a trembling pout as she put herself in Simba’s shoes.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Liam rushed to pull her closer to him as he saw the tears begin to pool in her big blue eyes. That’s all he didn’t want to happen. Freak her out. “You don’t have to worry about that. Okay?” He wished he could promise that too. “Hm, you remember the ending of the movie, don’t you?” He asked, pointing to the television, but Ellie didn't even bother looking back before she just nodded the best she could while muzzled against her father’s chest. “Mufasa dies but Simba grows up… He gets big…” Liam sighed, realizing the parallels with his own story. “and his father is always there with him. Every step of the way.”

“He grows a mane too.” Ellie added the very important detail.

“Yeah, he does…” Liam laughs, running a hand through his beard. “And then, Simba finds Nala and they fall in love and they have their own little lion.” He wasn’t sure if she was following what he meant but it made him so happy to think of their story like that. “It’s the circle of life. Some people die and some other people are born.” He continued to explain as Eleanor kept all her attention on her father’s words. “It’s a story just like ours.”

“It is?” she widened her eyes in surprise.

“Yeah. My father died… and then I grew up some more... I met your mom and we fell in love…” Her father was Simba, Eleanor realized now, a wide grin showing on her face as she finally put all the pieces of the puzzle together.

“Did you also become king?” Obviously, if she was to be the daughter of a king, she needed to know.

“Oh.” There was a plot hole. “Sort of. Not a real king like Simba, but dad is a CEO, remember?” Taking over VKI was the closest to a king position he had gotten to, and a job Ellie was fairly familiar with since it was what both her parents did for a living. That worked as an answer, right?

“I guess, you are the boss at work.”

“Exactly. And then after dad became ‘king’…” He said, air-quoting it in a silly way and getting a giggle out of Ellie for that. “Mom and I had you. You are our very own little lion cub.” He stated proudly, looking at his, funny-enough, Leo daughter.

“I’m Kiara?” she asked excitedly, before she remembered her mother and brother still sleeping just a few feet away from them.

“Yes, you are my lioness princess.” He couldn’t help but smile as he gently tickled her sides to hear her laugh, smothering her with kisses on her warm rosy cheeks. “And I love you.” He said, giving her a break from his lovefest since her giggling was getting too loud and he didn’t want it to wake up Fallon and Jack. “I love you a lot, a lot, a lot…” he whispered as Eleanor calmed down in his embrace.

“How come Grandpa John died but Grandpa Blake didn’t?” Well, it didn’t take her long to go back into it. The whole death thing, still clearly intriguing her.

“We can’t control when people die, Ellie…” He started, trying to be as careful as he could about what he told her. “Grandpa Blake will die one day.” He said honestly and watched Eleanor’s eyes widen in pure shock. “Mom and dad, and even you will die one day. We will all die someday. Hopefully, many years from now, but we don’t know when that is. Nobody knows…”

“But why?” Eleanor whined. She didn’t like this whole disappearing forever thing. It was not fair. She wanted her family with her. On earth. Forever.

“It’s just how it is…” He told her, even though he knew she wouldn’t be satisfied with mother nature’s rules. “But it’s not something you need to be worried about. It’s something natural, baby.”

“Can you die tomorrow?” He stopped himself as he was about to tell her no, remembering the last time he saw his father and how he would have never guessed that would be the last time. He didn’t ever want to lie to her. He had promised the day she was born he never would.

“I don’t think I will, Ellie.” He said, putting on his serious tone to make sure she believed him. “I think daddy will be here for many years. Usually, people die when they are really old or sick. Grandpa Blake is still pretty young, so am I and your mom…”

“I don’t want you to die.” She pouted, throwing her arms around Liam’s neck and resting her head on his shoulder, before she whispered, “I would miss you a lot if I couldn’t see you everyday.”

“I know, and that’s not a bad thing. It’s just a sign of how much you love us.” He whispered back, running his hand through her hair. “That’s why we got to enjoy the time while we are all here on earth, and give lots of hugs and kisses… before the people we love go to heaven and we can just talk to them from down here…”

“Can I go to heaven to be with Grandpa?” she asked, pulling away from their tight hug.

“No.” Liam had never answered anything so quickly in his life. He had thought about that himself before too. He wished there was a way for them to reconnect even just for some minutes. But the idea of Ellie going to heaven… That was something he refused to even think about. “Once you go, you cannot come back, and you belong here with mom and I. You cannot go. Okay?” he knew he was thinking more into it than what Eleanor had actually meant with her innocent question, but he felt calmer once she nodded in agreement.

“Can we look at the stars and talk to Grandpa John tonight like Simba does with his dad, then?”

“We absolutely can.” That sounded like a good compromise to Liam. He had a lot to tell his father too. He wanted to let him know that they were back in his favorite place in the world. That the kids and Fallon loved it as much as he once did. That he got to share now the sweetest memories he had of him with his own kids. “I’d love that, actually.”

“Can we go now?” Eleanor asked, looking straight at the dark sky visible through their rustic living room’s large glass doors.

“Of course.” Liam said, lifting her to place her next to him on the couch before getting up. “Let’s be careful not to wake mom and Jack up…” He said, bending down to adjust the blanket he had put over Fallon and Jack when they first fell asleep, before getting another one from a nearby basket. “Come here.” He said, unfolding the blanket to wrap it around the little girl, and make sure she was warm enough to go out on that New York winter night. “Let’s go…”

“I love you, daddy…” Ellie whispered as her father picked her up and she got comfortable in his arms.

“I love you, too, Ellie-belle…” he said, using one of the many nicknames he had for her. “Elle, do you wanna be the one to start?” he asked, sitting down in the patio’s cushioned swing that gave them the best view of the countryside’s starry night sky.

“Hi, grandpa…” Ellie started right away. She had a lot to say and Liam could feel she was anxious to let it all out. “Daddy and I miss you a lot today…” Liam looked at Eleanor as she kept her eyes on the dark blue sky, totally enamored by her. “We are feeling a little…” Ellie stopped, finally letting go of her heaven-watching to look for reassurance in her father. “nostalgic?”

“Yes, baby, nostalgic.” He kissed her cheek before he added, “We miss you a lot, dad.”


	2. hot chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Lucy Lowden bond over a cup of hot chocolate.

It looked like it was finally snowing. The kids had been desperately waiting for it, and now that it was happening, Liam was curled up in the couch, peacefully sleeping through the movie he had picked and made everyone else watch, and Lucy was actually too focused on the movie she didn’t want to watch _yet again,_ to even notice the snow falling from the sky.

John looked around the room where the main source of light was the fire burning slowly underneath the television mounted on the wall; the sound of the burning wood only adding to the cozy warm feeling of the soft white blankets they were all wrapped in. That was exactly what he had bought them that farmhouse for: family time by the warm fire during dark cold nights.

He really didn’t care about what they were doing as long as they were together. The kids had made him watch The Lion King about a million times already since it had come out earlier that year, so naturally, his interest had quickly shifted to the soft sound of the wind blowing on the things hanging in their back porch, and the steady breathing pattern of the sleeping woman resting her head on his lap. He watched her chest softly rise up and down for minutes on end, taking in all of her gentleness and unusual serenity.

“Wow…” Lucy murmured, not taking her eyes off the television even after the movie’s end credits started playing.

“Luce…” John whispered; afraid his distinctive low tone would wake his wife up. “Did you like it, sweetheart?”

“I loved it!” she exclaimed, getting up from where she was sitting on the living room’s floor in a spurt of excitement.

“Shh…” John gestured, taking one of his fingers to his mouth, before looking down at Laura again. No movement. Crisis averted. “We don’t want to wake up the beast…” he told his daughter as he smiled down at his wife and he realized how her angelic and innocent sleeping figure masked perfectly her signature tough love attitude that Lucy knew all too well.

“Oh. Mom is sleeping. I didn’t notice…” Lucy whispered back, lowering her tone right away. “And so is Jack. They didn’t get to see the ending…” There was always something off with their movie nights, and although this had been by far one of the calmer ones, at least that Lucy could remember, she was still disappointed half of her family had not watched the entire movie.

“We started a little late. They were probably both too tired already. Mom was up pretty late last night...” John said, noticing how his daughter's eyes travelled between her mother and her baby brother. “It’s okay, we will watch it again as a family someday. It’s always a good movie, isn’t it?”

“Yes!” Lucy said, sitting down on the coffee table to contain her excitement as she started rambling about the movie they had just watched; her little creative heart racing as her brain went through every little frame that made The Lion King one of her favorite movies. “The animation is still as beautiful as the first time I watched it… the songs… the meaning of the story…”

“It is.” It had been a few months since Lucy had started showing interest in motion pictures. Funnily enough, it had all started when she faked sick to avoid a math quiz at school. Laura wouldn’t usually allow sick days unless the kids were practically dying but she was too busy and stressed with work to even care that day. So, Lucy got to stay home with all the time in the world to plan carefully all the excuses she would use once her mother realized she was missing examination days at school.

Also, it turned out that she really wasn’t a good actress. Her father caught it right away during breakfast. No sick little girl ate like that. June had taken Liam to his morning French tutoring, and John decided to take the time to further investigate Lucy’s sickness by staying at home as well. It was not like things at work were going that great anyway. He wouldn’t be missed.

In the end, what had begun as a father-daughter date day at the museum, had ended with John introducing Lucy to what would become her greatest passion in life.

“Did you cry this time when Mufasa died?” Lucy asked teasingly, as she had caught a few tears in her father’s eyes before during that scene.

“Not this time.” He smiled, carefully lifting Laura’s head from his lap, putting a soft pillow underneath it so he could get up. “You have to promise not to say anything, but… I think I caught your mother crying in the middle of the movie…” he said and watched Lucy’s eyes widen in surprise. “Yeah, that’s right. _Mrs. Lowden_ cried.” He said, mimicking his wife’s haughty tone every time she introduced herself.

“No way.” Lucy gasped, and John nodded so she would follow him into the kitchen where they could talk freely without being worried about waking up Laura and Liam.

“Do you think mom is still mad about what I did at dinner?” Lucy asked shyly as John grabbed them each their favorite mugs and started preparing some hot chocolate, the most important part of his signature Christmas bedtime routine.

“It was an accident, Lucy. It could have happened to anyone.” He sighed, remembering the utter chaos that had ensued at dinner over spilled wine. Or rather, the real motive that had Laura snapping at Lucy in a fury rage: her loss of control over their eldest daughter.

John hated to see what Laura and Lucy’s relationship had become. Laura insisted Lucy was not a baby and she “shouldn’t behave like one”, and John knew that what his wife actually meant was “she has to behave like I want her to”. “Your mom knows it was an accident. You know she reacted impulsively, but she is not mad at you. She shouldn’t be.”

“I don’t like when she screams at me.” Lucy admitted, and John felt his heart shattering at her weak voice. “You never scream at me like that.”

“I know, I don’t like it when she does it, either.” He hated it actually. If there was a time John felt like he could actually hate his wife, that was it. “She will apologize. Believe me.” He was gonna make sure that Laura would put her pride aside and apologized. No matter what. It could take him a few days, but he would get her to do it.

“I don’t want you and mom to fight because of me.” Lucy was not stupid, and she was old enough to know what her dad meant with his answer. She had heard it before; her parents fighting because of her. “I don’t need an apology. It’s okay.”

“You do, and your mother needs to apologize for being that rough.” He said seriously. He wasn’t about to let the pattern repeat itself. He knew perfectly well why Laura was like that. He had seen it happen to her and he hated to see Laura be spoken to that way just as much. He knew it hurt her too, yet something within her made her repeat the same behavior with Lucy. “We won’t fight. I promise…”

“Okay…” Somehow, Lucy couldn’t believe it. At this point she was just hoping her father would forget about it.

“I love your mom and I love you… And I know to see when someone needs to apologize, and that’s what's going to happen. We just need to give her some time for her to cool down and think about what she did.” John said, shaking the whipped cream can before putting some on top of his hot chocolate, the corner of his eye watching Lucy’s sad expressions as she mixed in the chocolate with her spoon. He could tell exactly what was on her mind.

“Can I have some?” Lucy asked, extending her hand to take the can from her dad.

“Your mother loves you too, Lucy.” He said, trying to put her mind at peace even if she hadn’t said anything else. “She loves you so much, baby, and she will want to make things right with you too. I know it. You are her little girl, Lucy. Nothing can change that. Ever.”

“I hope so.” Lucy sighed, grabbing the warm mug with both her hands to take it to her mouth. “I didn’t want to make her mad… about the wine and… the ballet.” Lucy was only 8 but she was smarter than John gave her credit for. She knew the real reason behind Laura’s outburst. It was not the accident she was worried about. She was questioning her own choices now. She had seen her mother mad before, but never quite like that.

“Listen, you know how your mother loves ballet and… It was something that she loved sharing with you…” Laura was ecstatic when they found out they were having a little girl. Lucy was signed up for ballet classes before she could walk, and Laura was convinced that her daughter had all it took to follow in her footsteps. “But she cannot make you do things you don’t want to do, Lucy…” All of Laura’s plans came crashing down when Lucy announced she was done with ballet before she even got to watch her daughter’s first recital in pointe shoes. “It’s okay to tell her no…”

“I still think it’s beautiful…” Lucy started, feeling like she had to justify herself. “I just don’t enjoy doing it as much anymore. It’s not… me.”

“That’s fine. You will always dance with daddy, won’t you?” John asked and Lucy readily nodded, pulling off her best, chocolate covered, smile. “Come here.” John got up, taking Lucy’s hand to help her down the tall kitchen bar stool before lifting her into his arms for a father-daughter dance. “How about you become my movie buddy?” he asked in a whisper as he twirled around the room with his daughter in his arms.

“What do you mean?”

“I know you like movies, and so do I.” He said, slowing down as he was getting a little out of breath after all the majestic lifts and twirls. “I’m not a professional, but I happen to have some things that can help you make your own movies if you want…” he suggested, and Lucy’s face lit up immediately. It would be like a dream come true for her. “I can lend them to you if you promise to take good care of them…”

“Oh, really?” He was right. That would totally cheer her up. “Will you help me?”

“Of course,” He said, putting her back on the floor before he continued. “I’ll tell you more, you can be the one to help me pick the next movie we watch as a family…”

“Yes!” She jumped up and down. Usually, Liam just whined, and Laura made the rule whatever the little boy wanted, mostly to keep him from crying. Now, Lucy was finally getting her time in the spotlight. “Any movie?”

“Anything for my girl!”

“Oh, I have so many ideas!” Lucy’s body froze as she tried to rank all the movies she had been wanting to share with her family. “I can get my notebook!”

“Not now…” John held her back, stopping her from heading towards the stairs. “Tomorrow we will talk about it.” It was late and that was really all he could think about. Sleep was all he wanted. “Now, you need to get to bed, missy…”

“Already?” She tried her pleading eyes, but it didn’t seem like it was going to work. Especially after she saw a yawn escape her father’s mouth and he rested his empty mug inside the sink.

“It’s past midnight, Lucy…” Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten her that excited right before sending her to bed. A rookie mistake, really. “Hey, look at me…” Thankfully, he knew just how to fix it. He understood her. She just needed to pick that movie to let her mind at ease so she could sleep. “I will take Liam to bed, then your mother… and then, I will stop by your bedroom so you can show me that notebook of yours…”

“Really?” That sounded like a good compromise.

“But you better be in bed already when I get there…” he warned her and in no time, Lucy was out of the kitchen and running up the wooden staircase, only thinking how she had to hurry and get in bed with her notebook to wait for her father’s ultimate approval on her very important movie choice.


	3. the big deer in the room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fallon and Liam help their kids write letters to Santa

_[Sent to Liam Ridley]: “We are ready. You can come back.”_

Fallon looked proudly at the big dining table behind her as June brought out the last batch of freshly baked cookies. This was the sort of thing she had always dreamt of doing with her own kids. Enjoy the true Christmas spirit, as a family. A real stable family. Not the one she had when she was her daughter’s age.

The table was full. Between the colorful crayons, markers and pencils, the wide range of different textured paper, the Ridley stamped envelopes, the cookies, the frosting, the sprinkles and other decorative elements, Fallon knew the cute family activity was bound to get messy. She had been bracing herself for it. In the past, she had gotten a little overwhelmed with the pandemonium the kids could turn their picture-perfect family moments into, but she had vowed to let it go and live in the present this time.

After all, she did it all for them. It was supposed to be about them. She had decided she could live with a little mess.

“Mom! Mom!” Fallon’s first instinct was to follow the tiny voice coming into the living room and frantically calling for her. “We saw a deer! A big one!” Eleanor said enthusiastically as she finally saw her mother turn the corner into the living room.

“Eleanor! The boots!” However, Fallon could only see the muddy footprints tracing behind her daughter. “What did we talk about the boots?” she screamed, still clearly needing to work on her patience to handle the little mess that came with living in a farmhouse.

“Oh.” Eleanor halted, biting her bottom lip as she rotated only her torso to look behind her, not daring to move a single inch from where she stood.

“Yes, oh.” It was not that serious, Fallon told herself. It would be fine. It was just a little mud. “Outside, now!” she told her daughter, pointing towards the glass doors in the living room that led into their back porch.

“Do you see Neve there?” Fallon asked, pointing to the dog patiently waiting by the mud room door, where Liam had trained her to wait for someone to clean her paws so she could come into the house. “C’mon, let me help you.” She sighed, sitting next to Eleanor on the bench to help her take off her green muddy Hunter boots.

“I’m sorry, momma…” There was no way Fallon could resist her heartfelt apology, followed by the sweetest ‘momma’ she had ever heard. Damn, why did they have to make such cute kids?

“I’ll clean it up.” June said, emerging from the living room to take Eleanor’s boots into the mud room, where she would also clean Neve’s paws before letting her into the house. “Please use the kitchen door to get in. I will get to the living room floor in one second.”

“Thank you, June. You are an angel.” Fallon looked behind her, admiring how Liam walked slowly behind Jack, letting the two-year-old take his time as his small legs made its way towards the house. “Eleanor. Just… Repeat the rules so I know you heard me.”

“The boots stay outside or in the mud room.” She replied readily.

“Good.” Fallon nodded. “So, you know the rules.” Just as she expected.

“I forgot.” Of course. It could have been worse. Out of all of their rules for the farmhouse, that was actually a good one for Eleanor to forget. At least she wasn’t climbing into that shaky-falling-to-pieces treehouse again.

“It’s okay.” She told the little girl, pulling the white, and inevitably dirty, tights up her legs. “Just please be more careful… We don’t want our house to get all dirty, Ellie…” Fallon continued, retrieving the lost bow in the middle of Ellie’s messy hair to fix it. She could tell she had been running wild in those woods with her dad and brother. “Grandma Laura is coming for Christmas and if she sees her precious white couches stained, I will never hear the end of it…” Who even had white couches? Especially with little children! Yet another proof that Laura Van Kirk had to be in on some pact with the devil.

“Did you walk in with your boots on?” Liam asked as soon as he and Jack finally reached the porch. “Oh, Ellie…” he sighed, looking between his girls and June moping the living room’s floor. “Did you at least tell mom we saw a deer?” he asked, knowing that was why Eleanor had come running into the house that recklessly.

“She did.” Fallon confirmed. “A big one.” she added the detail her brain was able to retain before it started freaking out about the mud all over the floor. “Maybe it was one of Santa’s reindeers…”

“Santa is coming in this many days?” Jack asked as he did his best to pull his own boots off his feet without any help. “This many?” he asked, holding up 5 of his fingers.

“A few more, baby.” A lot more, actually, but Fallon didn’t have the heart to tell her son he still had to wait a little more than a couple weeks until Christmas’s day. “But we are doing something very important, and exciting, today!”

“Oh, yeah! C’mon!” Liam couldn't wait to see the finished result. He had seen Fallon’s carefully planned out Pinterest boards with all the Christmas activities she wanted to do with the kids for their month on the farm. He loved her investment in all that gave them quality time with their family, and he had gotten used to Fallon throwing these over-the-top events to do even the simplest things. “It looks great, babe. Thank you…” he said, pulling her into an appreciative kiss, before Fallon had to run to the big table to stop Ellie from starting to devour the warm gingerbread cookies.

“You are all washing your hands first.” she told the little girl, snapping her fingers at Liam to follow her, picking up Jack from the floor and guiding the entire family to the nearest bathroom.

“What’s all this?” Eleanor asked, as she looked at the overwhelmingly busy Christmas themed table, feeling a little conflicted about where to even start.

“We are writing your letters to Santa! Well, you are, dad and I will just help you and then write our joint statement to Santa to validate all you wrote in your letter.” Fallon explained proudly.

“So, we can get presents?” Jack asked, following behind Liam to take his place at the table.

“Exactly.” Fallon said, admiring how Liam sat Jack on his knee and placed a kiss on the top of his head. She had not even noticed they were matching before. Liam had probably done it on purpose since he knew how much she loved to see her boys in identical outfits. “C’mon, let’s get started…” She said, taking Eleanor's hand and guiding her to the seats opposite to Liam and Jack. “Do you want to try to write your own letter this year?” she asked, since their 5 year old was now starting to learn how to write and was actually pretty good at it.

“I think you should write it for me…” Eleanor pouted. Fallon knew what was happening. Fallon would let the same thing happen to her sometimes too. Brave, not perfect. That was their motto for Ellie since day one.

“What?” Fallon pouted back at Ellie. A battle that could go on forever as it was impossible to determine which one of them was more stubborn. “You can do it, Ellie! C’mon, I will help you.”

“But I don’t want to send Santa a letter with spelling mistakes.” she admitted, confirming what Fallon suspected. It was Eleanor's perfectionism getting in the way again. She had that happen sometimes when she was starting something new. Thankfully, and because she was still really young, a little insistence and encouragement was more than enough to give her the confidence she needed to choose to be brave.

“That’s why you have mom as your editor.” Liam said, as he quietly observed from the opposite side of the table. He was their kids' biggest supporter. No one would tell them "Yes!" and "You can!" as quickly as him and he was proud of it. He trusted that the 5 years of raising Ellie would show themselves now and she would come around and figure that she could indeed write her own letter to Santa.

“Can’t we email Santa and have the email spell checker do it for me?” Ellie tried to ask her mom and Liam just quietly waited for a turning point.

“I’m afraid Santa only receives letters.” Fallon said, pulling from the pile of paper, a white sheet with The Ridley stamp on top to start writing her own Christmas letter.

"I guess I can try..." Eleanor sighed, mimicking her mother and grabbing a sheet of the white paper herself.

“You got nothing to worry about! I’ll help you make it the best Christmas letter ever! Look at all the stuff we have to decorate it with!” Fallon said, bringing some of the stickers and different shape-cutting scissors closer to them.

“Jack, baby, what do you want to say to Santa?” Now that Liam's mind was at peace with the reassurance that his parenting techniques were showing to be fruitful, he asked the 2 year old.

“I want red!” the little boy exclaimed, stretching out as much as he could on his father’s lap to hold the pot of markers.

“Okay…” Liam laughed, extending his arm to help get it for him. “Maybe, let’s start with ‘Dear Santa’. What do you think?” he asked as he wrote it down.

“Dear Santa," Jack started in his adorable toddler speaking voice and his impressive range of words, not only for his age but also for a former premature baby. "I hope you have a holly jolly merry Christmas, and don’t forget…” he paused, grabbing one other marker to scribble into his own sheet of paper. “I’m writing a letter to you right now, and I love you very much...”

“How do I start?” Ellie turned to Fallon to ask.

“Maybe, try a nice introduction like your brother…” Fallon suggested as she watched Jack switch colors of markers and continued rambling about what he wanted to say to Santa as he colored. “Don’t forget, tell him who you are and how you did this year. That's the most important part.” Eleanor had to disagree. The most important part was definitely when she told Santa what she would like to see under their tree on Christmas day.

“Don’t forget to come to this house to give presents to me…” Jack said sweetly, making Liam stop his writing just to admire Jack’s ongoing rambling. “We are in New York! Not Atlanta. Gamma and Papa John's house!” Jack said firmly, making Fallon and Liam exchange looks. They always knew Jack was a special kid. He had defied odds, reached all milestones before he was expected to, and despite his rough start in life, he was still ahead somehow.

Jack’s quickness to learn and ability to understand what was happening around him had suddenly become more evident and harder to ignore as the boy, only turning 3 in March, had recently started to read without ever been taught to.

“Jack, baby…” Fallon knew he could do it, but she wanted Liam to see how instinctively he did it. “Can you write down your full name on the page for momma?” The toddler didn’t need to be asked twice before ‘Jack Alexander Carrington Ridley’ was put to paper, right before Liam’s eyes. He knew what this was about. She was still trying to convince him they should get Jack tested.

“That’s great, buddy…” Liam whispered to his son. “Keep drawing, baby…” They had fought about it. More than once. It was always hard when they deeply disagreed about something related to their kids. Liam didn’t see the need to label it, and he refused to ‘get Jack tested’ as if they were looking for something wrong with him.

“Liam—” He knew exactly what she was gonna try to say next.

“Not now, Fal.” And he didn’t want to start a fight in the middle of such a lovely family moment. “Do you want to tell Santa how good you have been this year?” Liam asked and Jack let go of his crayons to give instructions to his father on what to write.

“I have been a good boy this year. Only said nice words.” Unlike Ellie, he meant. How could he even remember the only two times Ellie sweared months ago? “I always eat all my food. I played nice with friends. Very nice and…” he stopped again, deciding to return to his drawing. “I love Ellie, and I love mama, and I love daddy…”

“Can I write that I have been good this year?” Ellie asked, following up on her brother's speech. "Will you sign for that?”

“Of course, baby…” Fallon was starting to worry. It was very unlike Ellie to be this insecure and unsure. She usually knew just what she deserved, and she was the first to advocate for it. “You have been good, Ellie.”

“I just got mud all over the floor…”

“That doesn’t make you bad, Ellie. It just means you need to slow down and think sometimes. Can you read to me what you’ve got so far?”

“Dear Santa, my name is Eleanor Ridley and I’m 5 years old.” She started, slowly checking if she hadn't missed any word as she read it. “I hope you are doing well and that you are on…” she stopped as it was all she had up until that moment. “Can you help me write ‘schedule for Christmas’?”

“Sure.” Fallon said, holding her hand to help her spell the big word. “Okay, so far, so good.” Fallon said as Ellie ended the sentence with a fat exclamation mark. “I think you should tell Santa all you have learned this year, and then ask for what you want…”

“What do you want buddy?” Liam asked Jack as he continued drawing. He was intrigued by the toddler’s colorful picture while trying to distinguish familiar shapes in the mix of his abstract art.

“The building magnets, and… And… those animals… you know?” Jack asked, looking up at his father, hoping he would know exactly which ones.

“I do, buddy. Is that what you are drawing?”

“Yes! All the animals.” Jack said, pointing to one of the yellow shapes that Liam associated with a giraffe. "And a telescope!" He said, struggling to get the big word to roll off his tongue.

“Okay. I think Santa can get that.” Liam said, writing down all of Jack's requests. “What about…" Liam looked over at Fallon before he said it. "...a bike?”

“Yes! A bike!” Jack's eyes shot up from the paper in excitement over the idea of getting his own bike. “A bike like daddy’s bike?”

“If mom tells Santa you can have a bike like daddy’s, I’m sure Santa will bring you a tiny bike just like daddy’s bike.” Liam explained, looking at Fallon who didn't seem to appreciate the gift idea.

“I’m not sure Santa has those on stock this year.” She said quickly. There was no way they were getting their son a bike. Of any kind. Not even one with training wheels. “Maybe in a few years Santa can get you that.”

“We will write it down anyways, just in case Santa finds one in stock.” Liam said, winking at Fallon before writing it down on Jack's list.

“Ellie, baby, I think that’s enough sweet-talk. Now tell Santa what you want…” she said, tapping her long nails on Eleanor's sheet of paper as she quickly glanced at what her daughter had written.

“I just want a few more Grimms sets.” Eleanor said, mentioning her favorite brand of open-play toys. “Maybe, some things for my playhouse too… And I really want daddy and I to fix the treehouse so I can go play there.” Fallon didn't see the point since they were only staying for the month but now that Eleanor had mentioned it, she knew that Liam would for sure get it done for their little girl.

“Sounds good…” Fallon said, watching her daughter carefully draw each letter.

"Oh." Eleanor uttered, remembering her most important request. She had to make sure she wrote it down. “And… I really don’t want anyone to die.”

“Oh, wow…” Fallon didn't know what else to say. Her eyes shot up at Liam once again. They just stared at each other for a few seconds. However, unlike Fallon, Liam knew exactly what that was all about. “That’s something...”

“Ellie...” Liam sighed. He had not told Fallon about his little post Lion King death conversation with Ellie. He had hoped she would have forgotten about it after talking to Grandpa John, and that it had been enough to put her mind to ease. Obviously, it hadn’t been.

“Why would anyone die?” Fallon asked, stroking her daughter's dirty-blonde hair while trying to contain her concern.

“Daddy said we can’t pick when people die, but I thought that if I ask Santa, he can make sure no one dies.” Liam bit his lip when he noticed Fallon's piercing blue eyes turning into flames as she looked at him from across the table. She didn't know the context, but she knew he had opened Pandora's box by bringing that up with Ellie. “I don’t want you, or dad, or Jack, or anyone in our family to die…”

“I don’t think Santa can control that but… I also don’t think you need to worry about that.” Fallon told her, placing a kiss on her forehead. “No one is dying anytime soon, okay? Come here…” Fallon scooped her daughter into her lap, pulling her into a tight hug. She was still so little. She would always be little to Fallon. Her baby. She didn't want her baby worried about grown-up's business.

“Isn’t there anything we can do?” Ellie tried again, looking up at her mother. She always had a solution for everything. She would know.

"Why is Ellie sad?" Jack asked, placing his tiny hands on both sides of Liam's face to get his father's attention.

“No one is dying, Ellie.” Fallon said firmly. “I promise.”

“Fallon—” Liam sighed. He wished they could promise. He really wanted to promise that to her too, but he also knew they couldn't.

“But Grandpa John did…” Ellie countered, just like Liam knew she would. After all, that's where that whole conversation had started.

“Yeah.” Now Fallon had an idea where Ellie's concerns came from. They had been talking a lot more about Grandpa John since they had moved into the farmhouse. There were pictures of him everywhere. Many of his belongings were still there, and it had brought up more memories than Liam could ever imagine it would. “It was his time.”

“Uncle Steven also died.” Jack candidly turned to his father to add, making Fallon freeze immediately. Completely lost as to what to say next. Neither of them was expecting _that_.

“I swear I didn’t—” Liam started trying to defend himself and Fallon just shook her head. She knew Liam would have never talked to the kids about Steven without her. They had been holding off telling them about Steven for a reason. It didn’t even cross her mind that it had been Liam letting that one spill. Jack had probably heard something about Steven while at the manor, she thought.

“Uncle Steven from Paris?” Apparently, Eleanor had heard something about her uncle too. Maybe it was time to tell them about him, Fallon thought. However, as she looked at her little Ridley duo, that reminded her so much of herself and her brother, Fallon still couldn’t find the strength to say a single word.

“He is not dead?” Jack asked, slightly confused about what was going on. He was extremely smart for his age, and he knew perfectly well what he had heard Grandpa Blake say.

“He is, buddy…” Liam whispered, looking between Jack and Eleanor, all cuddled up against Fallon's chest. That’s what everyone had assumed after the fire that completely burned to the ground the clinic that he was in. No body had ever been found, but after so many years, they just didn’t expect anything else.

“Listen to me.” Fallon started, pulling Eleanor's body slightly away from hers; her semi-wet eyes looking into her daughter's to make sure she knew she meant what she was gonna say next. “We are all fine. No one is dying.” There wasn't much else she could tell her. She didn't know what else she could say. “I don’t want you worrying about that.”

“Okay…” Eleanor finally breathed out, breaking eye contact with her mother for the first time. She seemed confident enough, and mom was always right. At least, that's what daddy said.

“Now,” Fallon breathed out, feeling her heart too heavy to speak uninterruptedly. “why don’t you replace that wish with some new roller-skates or I don’t know… Something for one of your activities?” Fallon suggested, pointing to Eleanor's Christmas list again.

“Can I get another horse?”

“Non-breathing gifts only, please.” Fallon struggled to say, trying to keep herself from crying as Ellie went back to her chair and resumed her writing.


	4. a special christmas present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John Lowden asks his wife for a very special christmas present.

For most people, the weekends meant time to rest, but not for Mr. and Mrs. Lowden. Along with the purchase of the farmhouse had come a mutual vow that whenever they were there, they would let go of work and just enjoy their time with the family. However, it didn’t take long for them to throw that out the window. They both knew that with their jobs, that was just unrealistic, and more often than not, they also worked on the weekends. That day was the day for Laura to be the one out of the loop.

“Oh, you arrived just in time!” John exclaimed when he saw his wife walk through the room. She clearly had no intentions of staying but he still decided to try.

“I was going to my office.” Laura stated, stopping for a few seconds to take in the scene happening in the middle of their formal dining room. “What’s all this?” She asked, approaching the table and finally making sense of the extreme amount of writing utensils spread across it. “Must be something important since you decided to bring out my Van Kirk crest stationery…”

“Santa should know who he is messing with…” John winked at his wife, picking up another sheet of the "Van Kirk" paper like Laura called it, and sliding it to the place on the table next to him. “C’mon, Laura… Sit down and write a letter to Santa too.” he asked with a mischievous smirk on his face that Laura knew all too well. He was up to something, so she decided to play along.

“So that’s what you are doing…” She said, sitting down next to her husband, placing a quick peck on his lips as he caught her trying to read what was written on the paper he had in front of him. “Will you lend me a pen?”

“Of course, honey…” he whispered, grabbing one of his most prized possessions. “My favorite pen just for you, love…” he said, handing her the slick black and white gold pen. The same pen that he had used throughout his life at its most significant events. Their wedding included. “And my other favorite pen for my favorite girl…” he said pulling out from the case a gold pen Laura had given him with his name engraved in it for their 1st wedding anniversary.

“I get this one!” Liam said, holding up a black and green pen that was also personalized with John, and funnily enough also Liam's, initials, JRL.

“Yeah, I guess that one writes too, huh?” John laughed at his 4 year old son's readiness as he wasted no time before he attempted to start writing. “Jack, buddy, can you write your name on the top?” John asked and watched carefully as Liam put the 4 little letters side by side on the paper to spell out his name. “Well, that works too.”

“What did he write?” Laura knew exactly what by John's smug tone, yet, she still wanted to hear it from his mouth.

“Liam.” Confirmed. It really was an endless battle. Her poor baby Jack was clearly being badly influenced into responding to a name he only had because of a much needed compromise to finally close the deal that was mutually agreeing on a name for him. “That’s technically his name too, so that’s okay, huh, buddy…”

“I wonder why that would be the name he writes down…” She shook her head, knowing perfectly well how John referred to their son when she wasn't around. “Are you not gonna write yours too?”

“I’ve already written mine…” She knew. She had noticed all the writing in the paper in front of him. She just wanted to read it. It was more curiosity than anything else, really. “It’s a very special one.” he teased.

“Can you share with your wife?” she figured she would need to be more direct with him.

“I can.” he said, handing her his very own Santa letter so Laura could know what sort of presents she could get him, especially knowing she really would be the only one able to give him what he wanted.

“Dear Santa,

It’s your friend John Lowden here. I have been writing to you for a few years already, and you never seem to disappoint, so maybe you can help me with a very special request I have this year. It’s kind of a big one.

First of all, I would like to tell you how grateful I am for my family. I have really enjoyed everything I got to experience with the kids and Laura this year. Surprisingly, it was a relatively drama-free year. I feel like we finally found a good dynamic as a couple and as parents to our beautiful children.

From our date nights, to our time as a family at home and our vacations, I’m truly thankful to be able to be with them every chance I get, even if Laura and I work more than we should.

Time with them. Honestly, that’s all I want more of. More of them, really.

So, this year, there is only one thing I will ask you for. As you might know... My wife is an iron lady. A real tough cookie. She is tough and driven and I love all that about her. I think it makes her extremely sexy. She is also really stubborn, so I'm really gonna need your help with my wish.

This year... I want to grow our family. I want to have another baby.

Lucy and Jack are the greatest human beings I know, and they deserve a little brother (hopefully!) or sister. I just know they would love that baby more than anything else, Santa! So, would I! And Laura, once she got to know the kid better (don’t worry, she just needs a little time to warm up to the idea).

Our kids are really good looking too. I’ll be sure to attach a picture. We give them nice genes, I promise. Don’t you think the world deserves more of my little Lowdens?

So Santa, can you help me convince Laura?

Wish me luck! I know I’m gonna need it.

Merry Christmas!

With love,

John Lowden

PS. Hopefully next year I will attach a picture of the new baby when we write our Christmas letters again."

John couldn't take his eyes off his wife as she read his letter to Santa, hoping to see some sort of reaction to it on her face. But nothing. A straight poker face. Not a single frown or smile. She looked as emotionless and focused as she did in the boardroom. As if she was analyzing the deal and going over the numbers. Over and over again.

“I’m sorry, John.” She said calmly, finally handing him back the piece of paper. They had talked about it and she didn't intend to repeat herself.

“What is it? What did you ask for?” Lucy asked, looking at her mom and dad as they stayed focused on their silent staring contest. It was more of a silent argument with their eyes in which Laura was undoubtedly winning.

“I don’t think Santa is gonna be able to help you out with this one. I don’t think you are getting the Christmas present you want.” she said, before grabbing her borrowed pen again and going back to her very own letter like nothing had happened.

“It’s okay, you have time to think about it.” He knew it would be hard, but he wasn’t ready to let it go yet. He would come back to it later.

“I have thought about it, John.” Laura said firmly, not even taking her eyes off what she was writing. “I said no but you can always get it somewhere else.” she shrugged, putting a sour end to the conversation.

“Lucy, sweetie, do you want to share what you want for Christmas?” John decided to ask his daughter to lighten the mood.

“I want a camera, a few movies and to take a cinema class.”

“Don’t you want any toys?” Laura asked. It seemed like Lucy was really changing. Just last year she had a long list of toys she wanted for Christmas, and now... Just movie related presents. “Are you sure you don’t want any toys?”

“I’m a big girl now, mom.” Lucy started, trying to be as carefully as she could not to trigger something within her mother. She had just recently stopped being mad about her quitting ballet. “Dad has been helping me write my first movie! We already got a few pages and…” she bit her lip, looking at her father as she dared to say it out loud, “I want to film it!”

“I think we can definitely make that happen, Lucy... I know it’s something very special to you, and I’m sure Santa is gonna bring you everything you need to get that movie done.” John said. He knew exactly what he was gonna get her for Christmas. Lucy had found her passion and John was gonna make sure to feed it. Feed it really well. In addition to the equipment and the classes she had asked for, John was also planning to take her on a special trip to some of the most famous movie studios in Los Angeles so she could get a brief experience of what it was like to work on a real movie production. But that was gonna be a Christmas morning surprise.

“That is… if you have good grades, of course…” Laura was quick to add. She wasn't particularly fond of Lucy's new obsession. “We don’t want…" she struggled to come up with a nice word. "hobbies… distracting you from your education.” After all, whether she wanted it or not, Lucy's end goal needed to be VKI. That was her legacy, just like it had been her mother’s.

“She will get good grades. As she always does.” John reassured. He could see that Laura just wanted to pick on it, and she had, up until that point, no reason to. "Liam buddy, I take it you want some cars? And… is that a boat?” John asked, trying to guess Liam's wishlist from what he was drawing in his letter.

“Yes, and these are the bad guys…” Little Liam said, pointing to the little black stick figures in his drawing. “This one has a gun and a bag of gold to take on that plane.” he explained the scene of the story he was unconsciously writing.

“So... some figurines too?”

“Santa should get him some dolls as well!” Lucy added. “He is always taking mine for his little adventures…”

“I’ll take that into consideration too. Thank you for your suggestion.”

“Since you are grown up now, maybe you could give some of your dolls to your brother, Lucy. Since, you know, you are busy writing and directing your movie.” Laura suggested, clearly trying to tease the little girl.

“Laura. Please.” he whispered discreetly to his wife before adding in a louder and clearer tone, “Tell me, honey, what does my beautiful wife want for Christmas this year?”

“I want a trip to Italy. Just the two of us.” It seemed simple. So simple, yet it had been years since the last time they had travelled by themselves. That was something John had noticed Laura missed. She craved time just for the two of them, and John would not even dare say it out loud, but it seemed like sometimes she even resented the kids for not getting as much attention as she did when it was just the two of them.

“That was not what I got you…” he admitted with a smirk. Her idea was actually a lot better. Italy was where it had all started for them. Maybe it could also be where Laura surrendered and conceded to his special Christmas wish. “I guess I will get rid of what I bought you and get into planning for that. Get us a week off in Tuscany. How does that sound?”

“It sounds just like what I need right now.” Laura said, right before a moan escaped her lips as her husband worked on the tension knots she had on her back. “I will also need a…” she lowered her voice so only John could hear her. “a full body massage later tonight…” That sounded good to him too. As long as Liam decided to stay in his bed, of course. His middle of the night intrusions started out as cute but were now turning into a real inconvenience.

“The trip is what Santa is gonna get mom! You can still give her your present!” Liam said, slightly disappointed that his father still didn't quite understand how the whole Santa thing worked after all those years. “Mom can get both presents!”

“Oh, you’re right, buddy. Santa never fails, right?” John said, looking between Laura and his Christmas letter. “Lucky mom, huh? Getting the most beautiful jewelry and a trip to Italy...'


	5. picture perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fallon is on a mission to get the perfect christmas picture of her family.

No matter how much stress it induced or how much the kids hated it; Fallon wasn’t letting go of her favorite Christmas tradition. She didn’t care if they whined or cried or threw fits that made her want to leave the house and never come back again. She was doing it again this year and until the end of her days. She was getting her family dressed to the nines and they would sit and smile for their annual Christmas photo. No matter what it took.

“Okay, it’s all ready.” Fallon said, looking around the living room as she seemed to be searching for something. And there was her handsome husband. “I just need the kids for the perfect shot.” She told him as she got closer to adjust his tie and greet him with a kiss.

“I love how you talk about them like they are your photoshoot props…” Liam grinned, not being able to resist Fallon’s inquisitive frown as she tried to figure out why his tie was so crooked. “You look beautiful…” he whispered, his lips trying to find their way towards hers again as his hands travelled through the fabric of her tight-fitting green dress.

“Thank you, honey.” This year, family pictures were extra special. More than Liam could even imagine. She was doing it mostly for him and she _needed_ them to come out perfect. “Where is _his_ tie?” she asked when she saw little Jack happily entering the room. No matching tie in sight.

“I couldn’t put it on him…” The truth being that the toddler had fussed, and Liam had just given up without giving it a proper second try.

"Did you try the matching bow I put there as a second option?" he had not even attempted that. He wasn’t the biggest fan of putting their kids in fancy clothes. He mostly just did it whenever Fallon asked him to, and even then, he would find comfier alternatives if the kids weren’t too happy with their mother’s fashion picks.

"He wasn't too keen on having anything around his neck..." Liam said, taking Fallon’s hand in his as he saw her start getting fidgety about it. She was starting to lose control over her ideal picture, and she didn’t like it. This one was too important to be anything but absolutely perfect.

"Oh, this will be a disaster..."

“It will be fine, Fal…” Liam knew how stressed Fallon could get over her big productions. He had watched as she had planned everything carefully over the past couple weeks and he was begging the heavens his wife wouldn’t end the afternoon crying. “He looks really cute either way and his nap was really short today, so he is pretty much a ticking time bomb at this point.” Fallon had insisted that some of the photos needed to be taken at sunset. No negotiation possible. “I didn’t want to bother him too much. You know, to avoid meltdowns.”

“C’mon, he is our most cooperative child…” If Jack was gonna be hard to work with, Fallon didn’t even want to imagine how Eleanor would be like. “I have everything ready in the backyard. The whole winter wonderland is set up and ready to snap some cute shots.” She told her husband pointing out of the large living room glass doors and into the professional photoshoot camp she had built right outside the house. “I can’t have this be the same disaster it was last year!”

“Hey, we got a good shot!” Liam really didn’t care as long as they were all in frame. Yes, in the previous year, most of the pictures were of Jack crying or Eleanor refusing to smile for the photographer, but overall, they got some natural, and realistic, Christmas pictures that Liam loved and still got framed to display in his office.

“Where is our cute older prop?” Fallon asked as not a single sound from Eleanor was heard in the house. Never a good sign.

“Stealing candy canes from your winter wonderland…” It didn’t take Liam long to figure out where Ellie could be. If there was a show being put up, she had to be front row, especially if there was candy involved.

“Get Jack and meet me outside!” Fallon ordered as she rushed to get to Eleanor before she ate all the candy that she had got for the craft table exactly so she could bribe the kids into behaving and smiling for the pictures.

“I’m here.” Liam announced as she approached the photographer on the scene. “Hi. Liam Ridley. I’m Fallon’s husband.” He said, extending his hand to the young girl. He had never met her before. She looked young. Really young. He had no idea where Fallon had found her. She was probably from one of the million photography Instagram pages Fallon had been stalking in the past couple weeks.

“Hi, Mr. Ridley.” The blonde said, shaking Liam’s hand before introducing herself. “Grace. Grace Franklin. I will be your photographer today.” She said along with a wide smile. At least she seemed nicer and easier going than the old frigid guy Fallon had hired the previous year. “And who’s this?” Grace asked, gently tickling Jack’s fat thigh.

“What’s your name?” Liam asked his son, bouncing him a little as he noticed the little boy hiding his face on the crevice of his neck. “C’mon, tell Grace your name…” Liam encouraged, putting to practice his raising-brave techniques with his youngest child. That had been a step he had skipped with Eleanor since she had never been shy about introducing herself to anyone.

“Jack…” he finally whispered shyly.

“Hello, Jack! Are you ready to take some pictures?” Grace tried again but the more she tried, the more Jack held onto his father. It was a work in progress.

“C’mon, buddy… Grace is our friend.” Liam told Jack, rubbing his back to get him to feel safe and hopefully perk up a little. Raising Jack was a completely different ball game. It had been since day one, and if there was something his little boy had taught him, it was patience. He would have to be patient with Jack.

“It’s okay…” she said, turning around to pick from the lenses she had brought for her camera. “We have a long afternoon ahead of us and by the end of it, I’m sure we will be great friends, Jack.” Grace casually told the little boy before Liam put him on the ground and he ran away and towards Fallon’s legs. “Your wife told me she wants individual pictures of everyone, pictures of the kids with Santa... She had some oddly specific requests for the pictures of the kids… Something about needing pictures of them at sunset...” Grace tried to remember everything. “and… of course, some family pictures with the four of you.”

“My wife does like to go overboard.” Yep, that sounded like Fallon.

“I suggest we start with the family pictures, then the individual pictures and…” Grace paused for a second. “I have a little experience with children photography… let’s say, it’s best to leave Santa pictures for last…”

“She won’t take off the boots!” Fallon interrupted them, her desperation growing by the second after her failed negotiations with Eleanor. It seemed like it would be impossible for the two of them to reach an agreement. “I _really_ don’t want to yell… Liam, help me.”

“I think she looks cute with the boots, Fal.” Of course, he did. She could be wearing a garbage sack and he would think she looked adorable. That was not what she needed to hear right now. “I think it fits her personality.”

“If it fits her personality, I think it will give the pictures some character.” Grace explained, trying to spin Fallon’s worries into something positive, but she didn’t care. She didn’t want her daughter in the muddy rubber boots.

“Yeah, it’s just not the outfit I had in mind for her. I really need her to wear these shoes for her individual pictures at least.” Liam didn’t understand the insistence. Yes, Fallon had gotten the shoes specifically made for that occasion but if she didn’t wear them now, she would certainly wear them later.

“You know what?” Grace started. “I have seen this happen plenty of times. Can we go with the boots for a while and then I can try to get her to change?”

“That would be fantastic!” There Fallon saw a light at the end of the tunnel. She had seen Grace’s work with children, and if someone could get kids to cooperate, that would be her. “I think I can work with that.”

“Let’s go, then. Ellie, can you sit here so we can talk for a bit?” Grace asked, sitting down on the grass with the big camera resting on her knees. Eleanor sat and they talked like they had been friends for years. Fallon and Liam had never seen anything like it. It was like Grace had turned into a 5-year-old who snapped a few shots every few sentences. “Great! Tell me, do you think you could introduce me to your brother…” Liam was speechless. Grace just followed the kids, casually interacting with them without ever uttering the words ‘Smile!’ or ‘Look in camera!’. They just did it. They posed. They smiled. And most importantly, there were no tears. “Oh, no, where are you going baby brother?” Grace said as Jack ran towards Fallon and asked to be held. “What a beautiful mommy you have!” Grace said, snapping a few shots as Fallon took Jack in her arms. “Can we get the rest of the family in there?”

“Daddy!” Eleanor yelled at Liam, asking him to join them.

“Eleanor, is anything in your family we are missing?” Grace asked and Eleanor looked around playfully, trying to figure out what she meant. She was so expressive, Grace thought. A photographer’s gold mine.

“Neve!” Eleanor shouted and the Australian shepherd came running. “Sit!” she ordered, and the dog readily sat majestically by her feet. Neve was a photoshoot expert herself. “Can you take one of me and my dog?” Ellie asked as she hugged Neve fiercely and Grace snapped a few shots of the two of them.

“Oh, the sun is almost setting!” Grace said as enthusiastically as a kid in a candy store. She was so… bubbly. Liam was so confused as to what was happening. At this point he was just hoping he didn’t look as confused as he really was in all the pictures. “Mommy and daddy! I think I got everything I wanted from you! Bye, bye!” Fallon and Liam looked at each other before silently walking away to watch Grace invite Eleanor and Jack to sit down on an ancient bench that the Lowdens had made for their backyard when they first bought the farmhouse. “I think we are done.” Grace said just after a couple of shots.

“Already?” Eleanor almost looked sad. It was more the disappointed look of someone who got her story cut short. Left in a cliffhanger. Just when she was really getting good at it.

“Yeah, your mom had some pictures with Santa planned but…” Grace paused, approaching Eleanor to talk to her in a loud whisper. “I don’t think you can see Santa with those muddy boots on. It’s just not polite.” Grace explained and Eleanor looked down at her beloved dark green boots.

“You think so?”

“Yeah, you know, earlier today, your mom also showed me the beautiful shoes she got you and told me you wouldn’t wear them…” Grace continued, hoping that she was going smoothly enough so Ellie wouldn’t understand what she was trying to do. “She offered to give them to me but it’s a shame... they are not my little girl’s size…” Grace didn’t even have kids, but Eleanor did not need to know that. Whatever worked to get those shoes on her.

“I like my boots better.” She told Grace firmly, just like she had told her mother earlier.

“Oh yeah, those are really nice too, but… like I said, they are dirty, and I noticed they don’t really match your outfit…” Grace bit her lip, being as dramatic as one could be about it. “Do you want to see the photos?” she asked Ellie, pointing to the camera. “See your mom’s pretty boots, Jack is wearing his nice shoes… So is your dad.”

“Oh yeah…” Eleanor murmured, realizing the odd one out, and probably wishing she had put the black shiny shoes on earlier. Now she was not getting her picture with Santa.

“Gimme a second.” Grace said, getting up and going away for a while, before coming back to meet Eleanor again. “Do you want to take a few photos with these to see how it looks?” she asked, waving the shoes Fallon desperately wanted Ellie to wear in her direction.

“I can try…” Eleanor said, pulling the boots off her feet and throwing them to the side before Grace helped her get the black shoes on.

“Do you think Jack will put this on for a few shots too?” Grace asked her while holding the little tie she had also gotten from Fallon. “Look at how handsome your dad is in his tie…” Grace really meant to say ‘hottie’ but she had figured Eleanor was sassy enough to call her out for it. “I think your brother should also look fancier to meet Santa. After all, it’s your Christmas presents that are on the line…” Grace said in a serious tone and Eleanor nodded in agreement. They needed to make a good impression. Jack was gonna put that tie on if it depended on her. It was time to work her influence on the baby brother and save Christmas.


	6. not a lowden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Laura Van Kirk forgets she is a Lowden.

Sometimes John would walk into a room, quickly glance at his wife and the sudden sight of her fair tones and blonde hair would take him back to that summer afternoon when he first saw her. The circumstances were totally different now, almost 10 years later, but John didn’t think she had aged a single day.

“Let me help you…” he breathed behind her neck as his figure joined hers in the wide mirror, pulling the dress’s zipper up before taking the necklace she was holding from her hands. “I love when you wear the jewelry that I give you…” he said, placing a kiss on the back of her neck before securing the diamond necklace around it.

“Well, you do have great taste.”

"Starting with my wife..." he winked at her through the mirror before noticing her cleavage in the long party dress. "What time did you say the shoot was?" he asked suggestively. There was no way he could let it go now. He had to at least try.

"The photographer is downstairs, John." She said firmly, her usual military-like tone only turning him on more. The revealing dress and her authoritarian attitude mixed together created the perfect cocktail of desire for John. She should have known it would only make it harder for him to let go of her waist. "I made him come to the middle of freaking nowhere to shoot our family's silly little Christmas card..." She continued, turning around to face him. “We are not having sex right now.” And her word was law. He took a deep breath to let her words sink in and convince his body it was not going in that direction. Damn, why did he have to get so carried away so quickly.

“Oh, who is this very important person that is keeping me from having sex with my wife? Should we have rolled down our red carpet?” he joked, knowing perfectly well how much Laura could exaggerate and make everything sound a lot more serious than it actually was.

"He does fashion photography in New York and LA.” She started explaining while making some last minute adjustments to her outfit. “He is a renowned photographer, and his work is beautiful. He just shot for Vogue two months ago, so as you can probably imagine he is always really busy. He made time for us because he is a friend of daddy's..." Laura explained, her voice fading away at the last few words she spoke.

"Oh, of course, your dad…" John shook his head as he let out a big sigh. “He is talking to you again?” It was the same story, over and over again.

“C’mon, John… You know how daddy is.” Yes, he did, and it was exactly because he did that John was not the biggest fan of Lord Richard Van Kirk. The more years that went by in the marriage the less he liked her family, especially her father.

“I don’t like how he treats you.” John said plainly and that was an understatement. He hated it. With his father-in-law, John had discovered levels of self-control he didn’t know he had. Laura had begged him to be patient. Not take everything daddy says too seriously, but it was getting harder and harder for John to stay put and just watch it happen. “He would never dare to speak like that to Max! He is not as bad with Edith… Maybe because she is younger or whatever, but I’m done, Laura!” she should have known how irritated John got whenever they talked about her father. She loved that he cared so much about her, but she really didn’t want him in open confrontation with her father. “He completely undermines you and that’s not how I want my daughter to see her mother being treated!”

“It’s okay, John.” Laura said, her palms cupping his cheeks as she tried to calm him down. The last thing she wanted was for the photographer downstairs to hear John’s loud voice, especially as he raged about her father. “I asked daddy for a good photographer recommendation, and he was very nice to arrange the contact. That’s all.”

“I said what I said.” John sighed, taking a moment to adjust his tie in the mirror one last time. "Hm. Let's take that photo then." The things he would do for her. Extending his arm, John took his wife’s hand, kissing the back of it before they exited the room together.

"Laura Van Kirk." She said introducing herself to the chubby old man.

"Lowden." John corrected. He hated how much of a shapeshifter Laura could be. Especially when it came to her family. It was as if suddenly the Van Kirks had a notorious superiority to everyone else and she had to assert herself as one of them. John knew it from day one. First and foremost, Laura was a Van Kirk, and just then a Lowden. "John Lowden." He followed, introducing himself. “Mrs. Van Kirk’s husband.” He said ironically. Laughing about it was all he could do at this point. He also knew Laura would probably be mad at him for his comments later, and he decided to keep going anyways. “But not really _a_ Van Kirk. Thank God.”

“Well… I see.” The old man said as he looked the couple up and down multiple times as if he was taking their measurements, his face not giving off many emotions regardless of what was being said. Just like his father-in-law, John thought. Of course, they were friends.

"This is Lucy, and this is Jack." Laura said, presenting her children as Betty and June finally brought them out into the living room. Clean, dressed in the clothes Laura had especially picked for the occasion, and their hair done flawlessly.

“Beautiful. That does make my work go a lot smoother.” The man said upon seeing the picture-perfect children.

“Thank you…” John wasn’t sure if he should find that comment normal or not. He was already done with it before it even started. An attitude Laura had noticed and that she didn’t like at all.

“Young man, you got some great hair. Here.” The man said, grabbing Liam by his arm and sitting him down in one of the chairs he had arranged for the shoot. “Young lady.” He repeated the same process with Lucy, sitting her next to her brother, before taking some time to take a longer look at the kids’ faces. “Nice. Beautiful features. Backs straight!” he yelled, clapping so the kids would sit up straighter in the uncomfortable decorative chairs.

“Hm. So… How do we do this?” John asked, trying to figure out where he and Laura would fit in the scene with the kids statically sitting in the chairs.

“Hm, we will start with just these two.” The photographer said, hurrying to take a few snaps, correcting the kids’ postures every 2 seconds between snaps. “No teeth!” he yelled once Liam attempted to smile. They had been well-trained. Laura had given them straight instructions. No funny business. No fussing. No crying. Follow the photographer’s orders. That was just what the two kids were doing, and apparently, they were still getting in trouble for it.

“Can I get a photo with my two kids?” John finally snapped. They had been there for about one hour and it seemed like every single picture would turn out the same. They all had to behave like mannequins. Static, non-living mannequins. “Can I get a picture where they actually look like kids? Where I can see their teeth?”

“John!” Laura shouted, grabbing her husband’s arm and pulling him to the side. She had been ignoring his whispered comments for too long, and she had had enough of it. It was embarrassing. She couldn’t believe he was embarrassing her like that in front of her father’s friends. “I’m sorry.” She said, excusing the both of them. “John… What are you doing?” she whispered loudly at him. She was mad. So mad. About to throw stuff type of mad.

“These are family pictures!” he said, trying to control his voice, not meaning to yell at her or cause even a bigger scene. “It looks like we are taking mug shots of the kids!” he said, in a midst of rage and disappointment. “I want to have some pictures where they actually look like themselves! Natural!”

“That’s not the kind of photography he does...” Laura sighed as she tried to run multiple damage control tactics in her mind. This whole fiasco was so getting to her father’s ears. She would never hear the end of it. Another disgraceful moment for her father to throw in her face as much as he wanted.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m getting now. This is a giant waste of time, Laura.” John said, looking down as he played with his wedding band. “I’m sorry but I’m done.”

“John… Please… Just do it for me.” Laura wasn’t one for begging. John knew she only did it under very extreme conditions, and apparently, that felt like one to her. “You look great… And I promise the pictures might look a little different from what you expected, but I promise they will make a beautiful Christmas card…” she said, taking both of her husband’s hands in hers.

“Yeah, one your father would like to receive. I get it. A real Van Kirk Christmas card.” That was exactly it, and he knew that was what it was all about. She needed to have pictures that met her father’s high standards. Of course. “Don’t even bother putting our—” he stopped himself, not even daring to call her a Lowden. “Sorry. Mine and the kids’ last name in there. Grandpa Dicky will love those ‘Not The Lowdens’ mugshots.”

“I’m a Lowden.” she defended herself, feeling a little hurt that John would even imply she wasn’t.

“Sure thing… C’mon.” he said, taking a deep breath before stepping back into their assigned positions. “I’m so sorry. Can we please forget about that?” John asked the photographer that didn’t even bother giving him an answer before he went back to take their picture.

“John…” Laura could tell he really didn’t want to be there. He looked sad. Miserable even, and she hated to see it. But then again, that was probably the perfect picture to send to Mr. Richard Van Kirk, John thought. He was just giving his wife what she wanted. “Honey…”

“Don’t worry. I won’t smile.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Hope you liked it!


End file.
